Princess Fluttershine, Part 7
Sponsored by Kenny Davidson, aka Toothless
To the cool kids in KoL -- The Buddha teaches that there is a cool kid in each one of us
The Script For Today's Comic!
Tom and Karla at the bedroom, same as before. Tom comes storming in, apoplectic at the latest session.
TOM: Three hours of my life, wasted!
KARLA: Branch needs to game, sweetie.
TOM: No matter what I asked her, she froze! And then, half an hour after she gets home, she emails me with another elaborate backstory to explain her character’s paralysis! Game over, man, game over!
(He’s quoting “Aliens” here, incidentally.)
KARLA (calmly): Don't make me break out the big guns, Tom.
TOM (crazed, perhaps pointing): Angelina Jolie's guns aren't big enough to change my mind. I can’t do this! Don't think sex can get you out of this!
(While Tom raves and rants, Karla quietly goes to the bookshelf and takes
out a large green book embossed in gold. If you feel like putting letters
on it, it says "QUEENS YEARBOOK 1983." She takes it down and slams it on the desk with a sad but triumphant air - she really hoped not to show this to Tom, but now that she has she knows she wins the argument - open to a particular page.)
TOM: What's that?
(The yearbook header reads, "Karla Elizabeth Fontaine." The picture in the
yearbook features Karla, wearing glasses, with long, tied-back hair that's
not quite the same as Branch's.... But the stare is. That sort of eager,
glassy-eyed gaze is dead on. She looks exactly like Branch does now,
complete with that sort of lost expression. The only difference is that
she's wearing a crucifix, and, perhaps, has braces.)
TOM (appearing, by all accounts, to be shocked and dazed): Oh my God...
KARLA (grimly): Yeah.
TOM: I don't think I'm ever going to be able to have sex with you again.
KARLA (sharply): TOM!
TOM (hands over his eyes): I'm looking at you, I'm seeing Branch. That's
not conducive to a blood flow 'twixt my nethers!