Princess Fluttershine, Part 8
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The Script For Today's Comic!
They're in the kitchen now, maybe.
TOM (aghast, but not upset): So you're making me GM for Branch because you were LIKE Branch once?
KARLA (serenely): Yes.
TOM: Karla, this isn't My Fair Lady. This is Branch. Two more cats, and
she levels up to Crazy Cat Lady.
KARLA: Branch yammers about Phantom of the Opera; I blathered about Jesus. And you don't know what that’s was like.
(FLASHBACK. Karla's wearing a Catholic school girl uniform, same glazed look as Branch (if perhaps a little more eager), to a group of at least
Two people who are flinching away from her with their entire bodies, teeth
gritted, as if they'd love to be anywhere else.)
KARLA (box): My Mom taught me that Jesus was everything, so I thought it was what everyone wanted to talk about.
KARLA (teen, eagerly): ...So the three spirits are one and the same, but if you worship all of them it means you get to go to heaven, and that's better than any videogame!
(FLASHBACK: Little Karla, kneeling next to the bed, praying hard.)
KARLA (box): I was creepy, and I knew it. Nobody wanted to be my friend.
KARLA (box): But I didn't have anyone to tell me what I was doing wrong. Every night, I prayed for God to make me normal. But He never did.
(FLASHBACK: Karla, spreading the word of the Lord to two REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE kids in yarmulkes, in full Jewish gear.)
TOM: Did it ever occur to you that you were selling Jesus on the most Jewish block in all of Queens?
KARLA: So you see my problem.