Sponsored by Kat Burgett
Thanks for keeping me out of the bathtub for all these years. Happy Anniversary and Much Love,
The Script For Today's Comic!
(Tom and Tanner, still in the living room, perhaps a shadow of Amy behind them)
TANNER: "She was so perfect, Tom."
TOM: "She had to have a nice body, Tanner. She was a stripper."
TANNER: "No, she was beautiful inside…."
TOM: "Give me a scalpel and I'll verify that."
TANNER: "That's not fair! You never even knew Ann!"
TOM: "I never knew her because she didn't want to hang out with your nerdy friends. We met once for dinner at a restaurant you couldn't afford, and she ordered four wines and stuck you with the check even though she makes three times what you do."
TOM: "And the facts I do know? It took her four months to sleep with you, even though she's hooked up with these two other guys in the past month. You had to buy her flowers every day for a week before she'd date you."
(Still them talking, but feel free to spice it up with pictures of the action, turning this into a voiceover.)
TOM: "And she's the top-earning stripper at your club, which means that she's a professional at fleecing men."
TANNER: "They're not all like that…"
TOM: "But she is, isn't she?"
TANNER (quietly, small): "She doesn't mean it."
TOM (disgusted): "If I showed you a picture of her eating a puppy, would you think less of her?"
TANNER: "Shih-tzu or a Golden?"