The Return Of The Thing
Sponsor This Comic For Only $5!
You can dedicate this comic (or a future comic) to whoever you choose, for as long as this comic's around! We're updated Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, so choose a date and email us!
The Script For Today's Comic!
RETURN OF THE THING
It is late at night at a laboratory somewhere, with medical instruments and assorted lab stuff strewn over the tables. Through a window, we can see a full moon. Two young lab assistants are talking to each other, trading stories on All Hallows' Eve, and looking scared despite the fact that it's the night shift.
LAB1: ...and then I had to put his eye back in.
LAB2: MAN, that's creepy.
LAB1: That's my scariest real-life Halloween story. So what's yours?
LAB2: I’ll tell it. But don't blame me when you can’t sleep tonight...
(CUT TO: Guy working at a vet.)
LAB2 (Box): I was working the late-night shift at the vet's when this crazy leather guy kicks in the doors, SLATHERED in blood.
(And Tanner, just like he did at Tom's house, kicks in the door, a possum in his arms. Except, this being a Halloween story and being told from an outsider's perspective, Tanner is fcking terrifying, with all the details wrong. We cannot see what he is holding, not yet.)
TANNER: TAKE CARE OF THIS!
(Scene: Close-up of the possum, mangled and beaten and looking like an accident victim - not cute at all - flung on the desk carelessly atop of some papers and maybe a keyboard.)
LAB2 (Box): And the guy throws a mangled possum on my desk.
LAB1 (Box): He wanted you to KILL it?
LAB2 (Box): "Take care of it," he said. And from the looks of the thing, he'd been torturing it for hours and it wouldn't die.... I think it was some sex thing....
(Scene: Open bars in a window in back of the vet's. They are pulled open, just a bit, with a trail of blood leading up to and over it where the possum has escaped to freedom.)
LAB2: So I bring it in back to put it down. And when I turn my back, even though it was at death's door... It vanishes.
LAB2: And when I get back out the door to tell the guy... HE'S vanished.
(Cut back to lab techs.)
LAB1: So this maniac beat a possum half to death, wanted you to finish it off, and it ESCAPED?
LAB2: It was a ghost possum. And it wanders down the roads, a patch of skunk leather over where its left eye used to be... Seeking revenge on the man who crushed it. It could be out there now.
LAB1: That's scary.
LAB2: Hold me, Phil.