On 50,000 Words
Sponsored by John / Father of Ferrett / Exalted One
To Gini, for passing her Bar Exam! I am very impressed with all the work you put in during the last 4 years (while working a full-time job). Congratulations!
The Script For Today's Comic!
On Writing 50,000 Words
Karla is typing. Tom enters the room.
TOM: Whatcha doing?
KARLA: Writing my National Novel Writing Month novel.
TOM (sarcastically): Oh. That.
KARLA (offended slightly, but not too much – she’s confident enough in the concept just to be curious about what Tom could find offensive this time): What’s wrong with NaNoWriMo?
TOM: The 50,000 word goal. It’s such a stupid number. The bare minimum you need for a salable novel for most publishers is 80,000 words.
TOM: Get to the end and you’ll have a novel, but not one that you’d ever see in book form. You’d never catch Terry Pratchett or Neil Gaiman shooting for 50,000 words.
KARLA (archly): So are you saying that real fantasy writers should write more words, not less?
TOM: No, I have a different plan in mind for them.
SCENE: Robert Jordan and George R.R. Martin are chained to a wooden table in a place where we can see watchtowers and guards in the background, looking very much like an S.S. prison camp. Tom is standing next to them, a clipboard in his hand, looking serious.
TOM: All right, Mr. Martin and Mr. Jordan – you have three months to write a 120,000-word book that finishes up your plotlines. Fail to finish or go one word over, and the snipers will finish your story for you. Have a nice day.