The Invisible Intruder
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The Script For Today's Comic!
The Secret of the Old Cell Phone, Take 3
IZZY: Tanner, do you remember what that bitch did to you?
TANNER (actually sticking up for her a bit, because he actually believes this): She wasn’t that bad, Iz….
IZZY (ticking ‘em off on her fingers): She cheated on you seven times, borrowed $2,000 and never paid you back, lived at your apartment rent-free, screwed two guys at your place while you were at work….
IZZY: Why would you talk to someone like that?
TANNER (with that over-earnest defense that comes when someone is knocking someone so hard that you feel the urge to stick up for ‘em even when you know parts of it are true): She’s got issues, I know, but she needs help. I can’t refuse a friend in trouble…. And she’s just a friend, Izzy.
IZZY: If she’s a friend, why are you hiding her from me? What makes you think you can go behind my back to talk to another girl?
TANNER (genuinely confused): But I thought – I thought we weren’t dating….
IZZY (Funny sort of explosion, yelling Calvin-style, amping the funny here and not the anger): STOP USING MY OWN LOGIC AGAINST ME!