You Are Ruining My Song
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The Script For Today's Comic!
Why You Think The Net Was Born, Part 5
Karla is now outraged – not at Tom, and that not-being-mad-at-Tom should be clear, but at her MySpace audience.
KARLA (furious): They think I’m a mother they’d like to – ?
TOM (his balloon overlapping hers so that the “f**k” is neatly chopped off): Karla, you are nearly twice the age of the average MySpace user.
KARLA: But I did my research! The average age is thirty-five! I should be the hottest thing on there!
TOM: But that’s across all users. The power users are all young.
TOM: Remember, the predominant culture of MySpace are arrogant teens and snobby college students, each trying to show the world how cool they are.
TOM (hand on shoulder, sympathetically): They like you. But in the world of MySpace, a 37 year-old is an elder statesman.
KARLA (despairing): Look at these comments. “Totally hot teacher.” “Stacy's Mom has got it going on.” I've got a thousand readers, but half of them can't even vote!
TOM (reassuring): You wanted an army, sweetie. And now you have one…
KARLA: Great. An army of embryos.
TOM: Talk to them! Think of it as stem cell research!