Classic Endings Rewritten To Please Fan Fiction Writers

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The Script For Today's Comic!


Frodo, excited, talking to someone off-screen.

CAPTION: Lord of the Rings.

FRODO: Hey, guys! Im not going to the Grey Havens!

FRODO: Instead, I thought wed open up a detective agency in the Shire! Well solve crimes!

Aslan the lion, on a cliff.

CAPTION: Chronic(les) of Narnia.

ASLAN: The end of Narnia? Oh, no.

ASLAN: Instead, I thought wed find teenagers much cooler than you and force you to have adventures with them!

ASLAN: Our first guest? A delightful little girl called Mary Sue.

A black-and-white strip featuring a detective.

CAPTION: Citizen Kane.

DETECTIVE: Rosebud? It could be anything.

DETECTIVE: We all have our theories as to what it meant, of course, but in the end its really up to you.

A princess and the prince, together. This is an awkward moment as the prince tries to put it to her gently.


PRINCE: Cant we all just agree were attracted to everyone we know, and keep open the possibilities?

Ferrett Says

There are many strips where Roni provides the idea (the Next Big Storyline is, in fact, entirely The Big R), but this one's all mine. I find the uproar of many over the ending of Harry Potter - as in, it had one - to be slightly absurd, so I started thinking about what sorts of endings would make the fan fiction community happy. Fortunately, Roni was up for a larf.

And while I'm speaking of stories, just in case anyone here is, you know, a publisher or an agent, I just put the finishing touches on my fantasy novel and figured I might ask y'all if anyone who is In The Industry would like to take a look at it to see if they'd be willing to, you know, publish my book. If not, no big whoop - I'll start the "flogging my book about to strangers and slush piles galore" process - but if you are in a place to get "a Word document" transformed into "a book for sale at a local bookstore,", well, you know where to find me.

Message ends.

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