You Are Not Tom Servo
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The Script For Today's Comic!
YOU ARE NOT TOM SERVO
Karla, Izzy, and Tanner are in a movie theater, their outlines in silhouette as the movie of your choice plays up top… But we do not yet know that it is Tanner in the seat, for he is slumped down very far and we can only see the top of his head peeping out over the edge of the chair, like an old Florida man driving a car when seen from behind. The movie itself, should you dare to show anything vital from it, should be a sappy romantic comedy.
The order of the seating is Izzy, Karla, Tanner, and then two other people a seat or two down, also in shadow. (Think MST3K.) The scene is silent, except for the two people giggling; they are hunched over, conspiratorial, and talking to each other in semi-shushed voices.
IDIOT #1: So why is she leaving him for another man?
IDIOT #2: Her dress is so ugly. How can she wear that?
IDIOT #1: Check out her ass! Whoah!
IDIOT #2: Want some of my popcorn? It’s got butter on it!
(This can be done in one big panel or two smaller ones – up to you. I envision this as a definite “widescreen” strip, where every panel takes up the whole width.)
No matter what the action, however, Izzy looks over at them, thoroughly vexed. Karla is serene, though, perhaps sipping quietly on a soda. The two idiots continue to talk.
And then Tanner casually RISES FROM THE SEAT – unspooling, more like it, rising to his full height in a way that seems positively Godzilla-like, blotting out the screen. He lifts up one of the two people bodily, grabbing him by the lapel as popcorn spills to the floor. Tanner is threatening, but strangely polite even in silhouette.
TANNER: If you do not stop talking, I will teach you how to swallow your own ankles.
He sits back down, returning the moron to his seat, and the idiots fall silent. Izzy turns to Karla, excited.
IZZY: So that’s why you paid for his ticket!
KARLA (putting a finger to her lips): Ssh.