The Armageddon

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The Script For Today's Comic!

Gotterdammerűng, Part 8

The Armageddon

Scene:
Karla is entering Seth’s house, but… It’s different. The lights are down low (if not completely off), and Karla is obviously entering the house without having explicitly been invited. She looks around nervously.

KARLA: …Hello?

She walks around, exploring, to find Seth on the couch, a damp washcloth on his head, looking for all the world like a patient in every Jane Austen novel; his head is thrown back, one arm is over his head, and he is lying limp and bonelessly. Karla is alarmed, rushing to his side, kneeling by the bed.

KARLA: SETH!

SETH: Karla… is that you?

KARLA: Seth, what’s wrong?

SETH: Gotterdammerűng… My campaign… Izzy ruined it…

KARLA (urgently, the way you tell a dying kid with cancer that no, of course he’ll make it): Don’t be silly, my sweet GM… She castrated the King of the Western Shores, sure, but she can learn… You taught me….

SETH: No – without Throg, the Alliance falls apart. Now he’s a laughingstock.

KARLA: But you can turn back time, can’t you? As a GM?

SETH (regaining just enough strength to lean weakly up, in perhaps his last breath): No! That’s the GM’s rule: What happens at the table has effects! She made a choice, and that choice has ramifications.

KARLA (whispered, taking his hand): But think of Seawind… All that we have left to do with her…

SETH (fondly, stroking her cheek): I know, my sweet, but… It is too late.

SETH (firmly, with intention, looking at the ceiling with loss): Gotterdammerűng….

KARLA (slightly louder): No….

SETH (matching her intensity): …is….

KARLA: No…

SETH: NO MORE!

KARLA (wailing in grief, tearing her hair and her clothes): NOOOOOOOO!

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Ferrett Says


If you click on this link and vote for us, not only will you be helping us out and raising our traffic, but you'll get to see an advanced sketch of Friday's strip, "The Panic"!

There were many people who thought that Izzy had the last word in Monday's strip… But of course, things are never quite that easy. (Well, at least not in a four-week storyline.)

Speaking of "not easy," we had some people asking us whether all GMs were like Seth — scummy jerks who use their roleplaying as an excuse to mack on anyone they find attractive. And the answer is "no," of course (barring this cringe-inducing "elvish lesbians" game, which is hands-down the worst I've ever heard of) but the problem is that there are an awful lot of bad GMs out there. If you don't get Mister Sexy (or his bastard cousin, Mister Bondage-And-Rape Fantasy), you'll get Mister Waits For Six Hours While The Players Argue About Who Enters The Dungeon First, or Mister Kills Everyone Because He Thinks Rolling Up A New Character Every Ten Minutes Is Fun, or Mrs. Angst Without Plot.

There are a thousand ways to run a game, and nine hundred and ninety-nine of them suck.

So no, not every GM wants your body. Some of them are Mister Control Freak, forcing you down their little rodent maze, to the point where sex seems like a good out. If you have a good GM, hug them. Now. And don't bitch the next time the rolls don't go your way.

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