The Band Will Perform Tomorrow
Sponsored by Amy Mendosa
To all the drag queens with string in their hairdos but most especially to my Jub.
The Script For Today's Comic!
THE BAND WILL PERFORM TOMORROW
Izzy and Tom, somewhere either fun to draw or easy to draw; take your pick. Izzy is having one of those get-to-know-ya conversations with Tom, where sheís idly curious about his background and feels like following up on something Karla told her once. Tom, on the other hand, feels slightly embarrassed talking about it, since itís making a failed portion of his life sound a lot more interesting than it really was.
IZZY: So you were in a punk band?
TOM: Yeah. Program. We toured for about six years but never got anywhere. I made more money from the photographs I was taking of other shows, so I quit.
IZZY: Hmm. I loved punk, but I never heard of you.
TOM: Well, um, our songs weren't that good. But we were famed for our covers.
IZZY (suddenly interested): Oh, yeah, the punker's creed! Find a sappy song and punk it up. So what'd you do?
TOM: It wasn't so much a song as an entire Broadway musical, condensed into twenty-minute spot.
IZZY: What musical?
TOM (reaching a crescendo of embarrassment): ...Annie.
A flashback scene. Tom is on stage in the middle of a howling mosh pit seething with angry punkers in spiked leather jackets, punching and smashing against each other. (Tanner isnít there.) A man is flying into mid-air, leaping off the stage towards the crowd. Tom is hunched over pouring his soul into the microphone, looking totally butch and absolutely serious...
...except that he's wearing a bright red "Annie" dress and a red afro wig.
TOM: IT'S A HARD-KNOCK LIFE....
TOM (gigantic letters, audience sings along): FOR US!