Both Of The Answers Are Right In Your Face

Sponsor This Comic For Only $5!
You can dedicate this comic (or a future comic) to whoever you choose, for as long as this comic's around! We're updated Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, so choose a date and email us!

Sponsor A Comic For Only $5!

The Script For Today's Comic!

Both Of The Answers Are Right In Your Face

Panel 1 (a long panel):
(At a party, as Tom and Tanner watch Branch talk at Izzy)

BRANCH: so michael crawfords solo cd isnt as good as his phantom of the opera stuff but the third track is really good

IZZY: I’ve never seen Phantom of the Opera. I told you that.

TOM: Why do we put up with her, Tanner?

TANNER: Who — Branch?

Panel 2:
(Branch barely notices. It might be fun to have a fuzzed-out word balloon in the background, just to indicate that she's still talking to Izzy.)

TOM: She talks on and on about things that nobody else knows about, and never seems to understand that we don't care. She's obsessed with traffic patterns.

Panel 3:

TOM: She likes some of the movies we like, but not for the same reasons; we like the acting, she likes the continuity.

Panel 4:

TOM (throwing his hands out as if to say, "Why, God, why?"): And she kills or hijacks every conversation she's in. So why is she here?

Panel 5:
(Tanner looks over, and sees Branch talking to two new guys – the nerds from the end of the Karla’s Army strip who are looking at her with hopeful interest.)

TANNER: Because the guys hope she'll sleep with them if they listen to enough talk about musical theater?

TOM (darkly): “It is an army bred for a single purpose: to destroy the world of men.”

Ferrett Says

I always felt bad for Lyman. Lyman, for those of you who don’t know, is the long-forgotten roommate in Garfield. Yes, once upon a time Jon had a roommate – a swinging single bachelor – who owned a dog called Odie. Odie was a much better foil for Garfield than Lyman ever was for Jon, and so Lyman was quietly written out of the script. One day, when nobody was looking, Jon became Odie’s owner and Lyman… disappeared.

I like to think that Lyman’s body is rotting quietly in Jon’s basement. But that’s just the way I think.

The problem with creating a strip, however, is that some characters just catch your attention. We introduced Izzy, and Izzy was a good foil for Karla and Seth (and, naturally, Tanner’s current romantic interest), and so we had to go explore that relationship. And then there was Tom and Karla, and some funny ideas that Roni and I had together, and…

…Next thing you know eighty strips had gone by since Branch’s aborted introduction, and not a further peep had been heard from her. She was on the cast page, but aside from that? She was fading like Marty McFly at the end of Back to the Future. I could hear her muffled voice evaporating from existence.

I could have let her go.

But no! Roni wanted to have a light storyline after the comparative heaviness that was Maid, to Order, and I wanted to bring Branch back in… So we have this. Today’s the re-introduction of Branch for you nonexistent Branch fans, and then the next storyline – “Princess Fluttershine” – will explore the psyche of Branch in what may turn out to be a deeply uncomfortable way.

We don’t know. We’re still writing it as we speak, bouncing it back and forth between Roni and myself as we go for changes. It’s exciting, and we’ll let you know how it turns out…. Obviously. In the meantime, enjoy the resurrection.

Recommended Reading: